Small Gallery of the pictures from the reunion.

In the dying light three men met. The sun hid itself behind the world and the darkness covered the city. The three men liked the darkness. It gave them a feeling of comfort. They believed it was safer in the dark, that somehow the absence of light could hide them from the cities consciousness.

They met in a closed health food store. Their secrets seemed like they would change the world, they believed that there was nothing more important than the pathetic dealings they were about to have. They were completely unaware of what was going on just the other side of the city and event that would make them cry had they known if was happening. Thankfully they would never need to show such weakness as the world ended as they shook each others hands.

Word of the Day: sternutation

It was a lumbering hulk of a castle, built completely of black stone. The plans where drawn up by thirteen crazed wizards and at times it seemed like there was no way to if a corridor went to a bed chamber or a crocodile pit. Also there seemed to be a distinct lack of washrooms. This meant it was always empty until an attack when monsters and guard magically appeared in random and unexpected places.

“Sir” Said the small hunchbacked Dwarf. “I have the information you asked for about the prophesised hero.”

The Evil villain rose his long black cape billowed in anticipation. His eyes crackled with power and the Dwarf was forced to look away.

The response, in contrast to his movements, came slowly anger boiling behind each word waiting for an excuse to bubble over. “Yes, Dwarf. What is it that you have learned.”

Dwarves shouldn’t squeak they are a proud race with deep voices but this Dwarf shamed his people by almost mimicking Mickey Mouse’s voice. “Sir, he shall pose no… no, threat to you.”

“That is for me to decide minion. Don’t insult me with your petty assumptions.” His composed voice rose in a contemptuous crescendo; the last word causing the walls themselves to shake.  

Darting back and squeaking un-Dwarf-like once again he continued “Bu…But he is nothing master. A simple farm boy, with a rag tag group of friends. He is just lucky that he’s made it this far without killing himself.”

At the words “farm boy” the Villain jerked backwards his face contorted as if he was going to sneeze, but the sternutation never came and his face became more twisted in shock with every word.

“Sir…” the Dwarf stuttered before continuing, “his only advantage is that he wields his fathers sword”

The villain shuddered and sat back onto his throne. When he spoke again all power and strength had disappeared from his voice, “Is one of his companions not from around here? Were his adopted parents killed? Does he have a quirky talking animal sidekick?”

The Dwarf looked confused having never heard fear in his master’s voice before, “Yes Sir, to all your questions. But don’t worry Sir. I have good news. He’s been hurt. His wounds are most likely fatal and if he does survive he’ll be scarred for life.”

Now the villain looked three feet shorted and spoke slowly again but his words quivered in fear, “Scarred for life… Oh god it’s the end of the second act.” He got up running to his chambers he took out a large travelling chest and started to put anything around him into it.

The Dwarf watched him confused, finally working up the courage to ask, “Where are you going Sir?”

The Villain lifted the travelling chest and put a hand on the Dwarfs shoulder. “You’ve been a good lackey but I know when the full force or literary tripe is coming at me and I assume there must be other countries or worlds I can rule.”

Taking his black onyx crown off his head and placing it on that of the Dwarf’s, he said, “Good luck.” Before disappearing.

The Siberys Operative

Requirements:

Base Attack Bonus: +12
Feats: Combat expertise, Dodge, Mobility, Spring Attack, Whirlwind Attack, Improved Feint.
Abilities: Evasion
Skills: Stealth 11 ranks, and Bluff 11 ranks.

Hit points: d8
Skills per Level: 6+ Int Modifier

Fast Movement +10ft (Ex):

At first level a Siberys Operative base speed increases by 10ft and by another 10ft for a total of 20ft at level 4.

Sneak Attack :

A Siberys Operative gains the ability to sneak attack, like the rogue ability.

Hide in Plain Site (Ex):

At second level a Siberys Operative gains the ability to use the hide skill even when being watched or in the open.

Improved Evasion (Ex):

This ability, gained at third level, works like evasion. A Siberys Operative takes no damage at all on successful saving throws against attacks that allow a Reflex saving throw for half damage. What’s more, she takes only half damage even if she fails her saving throw.

Careful Step (Ex):

At second level and at fourth level, the Siberys Operative can weave in and out of combat with little difficulty, allowing them to move an extra 5ft without an attack of opportunity at second level and an additional 5ft at fourth level.

Improved Whirlwind Attack (Ex):

At fifth level a Siberys Operative is so comfortable with their Whirlwind attack that it no long takes them a full round action, instead it is treated as a standard action.

This allows the Siberys Operative to use a move action in order to either move or use improved feint; only one bluff check is used for all enemies. 

*Edited* Improved Wandwind Attack:

The Improved Whirlwind Attack ability can be used in conjunction with a wand that uses a touch attack and Use Magic Device check.

The Siberys operative must make a Use Magic Device check of 20+opponents Base attack bonus or incur an attack of opportunity. The target must be in adjacent scare and must still pass the normal save. Each attack is treated separately and therefore uses a separate charge from the wand even if the attack fails.

Today’s work is Expatiate.

The pressure was suffocating, the sun was blinding but was nothing compared to the noise. It burrowed into his head and expanded threatening to push his brain out of his ears.

Quickly he closed the door. He tried walking into the world once every year and it became more difficult every time. If it were up to him he’d just stay in his dark cool basement bedroom. Frank, his brother, insisted that he try leaving every year and every year the fear was overwhelming. How could people live like that, so much noise everywhere bright lights, all trying to assault your senses? Then there was the smell and the sky, by far the sky was the most terrifying thing he could imagine; a blue void waiting to collapse or a black speckled vacuum relentlessly beating on the fragile atmosphere of earth. He’d tried to explain it to his parents, his brother, the doctors; they said he was delusional or agoraphobic. They wanted to roam freely in the large scary world and all he wanted was to stay in the basement, reading and writing. He wasn’t a great writer he hadn’t been published or tried to be he simply enjoyed putting words and stories on paper.

In his writing fear didn’t control his world, he controlled everything it was the closest he’d been to true freedom. In his stories he could expatiate the world and his imagination.

He had friends in every character he wrote or read but no one understood his passion anymore then his fear.

One day he’d have to leave, he knew it, but for now he was happy and had been for so long it didn’t matter to him that he was missing anything because he had everything he needed. The fear was still there and strong but the will to be normal died so long ago he barely remembered it.

Alien abduction stories were some of his favourite to read but he could never write one. It didn’t come to him like other stories could, he certainly never expected to live one.

After G-Force and The Ugly Truth here is my list:

1. Star Trek (9.5)
2. Up (9.5)
3. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (8)
4. The Ugly Truth (8)
5. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (7.5)
6. The Proposal (7)
7. X-Men Wolverine (6.5)
8. Trasformers: Revenge of the Fallen (6)
9. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (5)
10. G-Force (4)

Idea stolen from Howard Tayler of Schlock Mercenary.

I seem to have a soft spot for Romantic Comedies. They’re kind of like chocolate chip cookies; I know the recipe and I know how it’s going to end but I can’t stop eating them. So I shamelessly went to see The Ugly Truth and honestly I liked it.

Short Version: Decent Romantic Comedy, a little coarse, with good actors.

*Warning Mild Spoilers*

Story
An English teacher once told me that the formula for a standard Romantic Comedies was always a take on Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. It’s certainly close to the truth with The Ugly Truth. It has a few twists a lot of verbal sparring and in the end the couple gets together.

It has a simple and easy story, the strength of which is in it’s dialogue. Like Shakespeare the dialogue is quick and at times almost musicale in cadence.

Pacing
It started out a little slow and awkward but once we were introduced to the main characters it took off very well. It had few annoying moments and switched quickly. If you want to take a washroom break, the best time is when she’s just met the doctor, or later when you see him in a monkey suit.

Acting
I have to say that I have a soft spot for Gerard Butler, I’ve liked everything I’ve seen him in, he has range of character and, as my wife mentioned, is one of the few men who can manage to act with their whole face. His facial expressions are reminiscent of Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart. That said this must have been a pretty easy role for him. He pulled off the nuances of a “hurt macho creep who’s really a good guy” very well but it couldn’t have been much of an acting challenge for him.

Katherine Heigl played her part well and I don’t think many could have played it in the same way but it was the same character she usually plays; an uptight business woman, who is neurotic. You can make a case that there are nuances in her roles but you can’t argue that they’re very big. She needs to quickly play something completely different before she becomes typecast. I suggest a nice action movie like True Lies or a romantic comedy with a taste of My Fair Lady.

The secondary characters were amazing as well.

Production Value
It’s a romantic comedy and didn’t have the greatest of special effects but the dancing was very well done, gave me the impression of two amateurs dancing in a Spanish club. The editing, cutting, and camera work were well done and it showed that they put effort into continuity.

Overall
An entertaining popcorn movie with lots of great verbal sparring and one of my favourite lines. Butler tells Heigl that “No man is going to want to f*** you if you don’t want to F*** yourself.” Showing that if she doesn’t find herself attractive no one else will.

I give it an 8 on 10.

I have a high tolerance for bad movies but this one was just terrible. There were a few cute or funny scenes but definitely not worth sitting through the movie.

Short Version: If you have any respect for the intelligence of your child or enjoy the Spy Genre than don’t see this movie.

*Warning Mild Spoilers*

Story
Take every spy Cliché, mash them up with every child’s movie cliché and blend. That’s the recipe for this movie. Every plot point felt obvious or pointless. Not only that but they relied on stereotypes; out of the three gerbils one of the Spanish tramp, one of horny black guy, and one of the clueless hero. Then there was the fat guy. The story was thin and contrived.

Pacing
The pacing was ok. They didn’t rush things or slow them down to much. I was happy every time they switched to another scene, if only because I hoped it would bring something interesting.

Acting
Good and great actors can be forced into bad acting, we saw this with the Star Wars prequels, and it’s the same thing with this movie. The only one who stands out is Steve Buscemi, who seems capable of making any role work.

Production Value
The chase scenes were well done and so were some of the explosions. The problem is that it didn’t do anything new or interesting. The animation was good and the filmography ok but couldn’t overcome the total lack of story.

Overall
There are plenty of good and great kids movies out there that will appeal to everyone. With the amount of good quality films out there, no one should have to bother with G-Force.

I give it 4 on 10.

After Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, here are my updated listings.

1. Star Trek (9.5)
2. Up (9.5)
3. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (8)
4. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (7.5)
5. The Proposal (7)
6. X-Men Wolverine (6.5)
7. Trasformers: Revenge of the Fallen (6)
8. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (5)

Idea stolen from Howard Tayler of Schlock Mercenary.