The Author, Belle, and I – An Adventure at ComicCon

June 27, 2014

This story was inspired by real events. Someone posted something similar but much creepier on the blog of an author I like and it inspired me to write this story.

It’s an attempt at both an obvious moral and a romantic story.

Comments and criticisms are encouraged.

*All the events and characters in this story are made up. Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidence. Except the Pirate, he’s based off a friend M.F.*

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Word of the Day story April 1, 2014

April 1, 2014

It was Felix’s birthday and the day he hated the most in the world, the first of April.

For most people it’s a harmless tradition, a day to make people laugh, cry, or get angry. It was all in good fun, unless it was your birthday. If you were born on Christmas no one expected you to be an excellent gift giver. If you were born on Valentine’s Day no one expected you to be an amazing lover but if you were born on April Fools, you had to be an excellent prankster.

Felix didn’t even like pranks or jokes really. He was a serious man, which was reflected in his charcoal gray suit, simple tie, and professional haircut. His shoes were buffed and his world was organized. Just way he wanted it.

Every year since he had started working, he’d take the day off. Stating that it was nice to take his birthday off, the real reason was to avoid the chaos and frustration that the day brought him. Even then he’d sit in his home and fret about the possible and horrible pranks that the sillytonians of his city might attempt.

Unfortunately that day he had an important meeting and try as he might his client refused to move the date. So he was going into the office and he was going to be careful and vigilant. No one was going to trick him this year.

At his desk there was an envelope, in a disgustingly cheery blue colour. It said Happy Birthday Felix. Taking the handkerchief from his pocket, he nudged the envelope into the trash. You could never be too careful, he thought.

“Happy Birthday Felix!” stated Margery, his cubical mate. She was a distastefully messy person and even worse, she was always cheerful.

He looked at her and narrowed his eyes. What did she mean by happy birthday?

He pursed his lips. Why did she look so smug?

He tensed his shoulders. She wouldn’t be one of those hoax-ters, hoax-ians, Hoax-ites? He’d have to look that up later.

He flared his nostrils. What was she planning?

Looking guilty and backing away she said, “Your morning meeting is here.” Her voice cracked a little. She must be hiding something.

Taking off his coat, boots, and hat, he placed them in their proper areas. His hat shifted and he righted it. Jaunty was for pirates and criminals not hat racks.

When he had put away all his things he looked at his watch, it read eight-fifteen. His client was dreadfully early. Their meeting was set for eight-forty-five. They would just have to wait.

At precisely eight-forty-three, he walked into the boardroom. His client was sitting at the large table reading a book. A large hardcover book with bright colours and some sort of large lizard on it.

When she put down the book Felix was transfixed by the intelligent green eyes that had been hiding behind it. Beyond piercing eyes was a perfectly symmetrical face on a proportional head. The rest of her was well dressed and professional. Her suit could be the perfect match for his with the exception that she wore a scarf and not a tie. The scarf however was dark red; the shade was perfectly mirrored in her lipstick.

Despite her use of garish colour, he felt well disposed towards her. Which he’d would openly admit is better than he felt about most of the human race.

“Mister Felicis, it is nice to finally meet you,” she held out her hand and to his great shock he shook it. Normally he would expect there to be an electric buzzer or some other nonsense but he had been so distracted by his first impression that he didn’t consider it. There was no buzzer.

“Same to you Ms…?” he waited for her to sit before he did.

“Oh of course you’ve been dealing with my admin haven’t you. I’m Amanda Eris.”

“Nice to meet you Ms Eris. How can I be of service today?” He said it and was shocked with the realization that be meant it and wasn’t just being pleasant.

“Actually, I’ve been sent here to make sure you don’t die until next week.” Her left eyebrow went up slightly and she seemed to be smiling.

“Uhm, I see,” he started and then exclaimed, “What?” This had to be one of those vile chaotic jokes.

He got up, turned around and was about to leave when she said the words that would change Felix’s life forever, “I’m not joking look.” She pointed the remote control towards the boardroom television.

On the television were firefighters and police officers, along with multiple screaming people. Such a disgusting sight that he didn’t recognize his own apparent building until his picture was shown on the screen with the words “Suspect” under it.

Read Part Two


Bad Books

March 7, 2014

Hello Imaginary Friend,

Something has been bothering me lately. The idea of whether a book can be bad and I think my opinion is going to be unpopular.

How a book can be bad

There are two ways I can see a book being bad.

One; they come to life and try to stab people. (Arguably the homicidal books could be considered misunderstood. If people tried to bend my pages and break my spine, I’d be pissed.)

Two; if the book was decomposing and had gone bad. (I swear I will never write another book on banana peels again.)

Academics and Morality

You can analyze a book and come to the conclusion that it’s not of academic importance. Its themes are weak, its ideas cliché, its language reductive, and it’s message garbled. You can then pass judgment on it as an example of poor writing and say it’s bad.

You can also analyze a books Morality and message and find it to be opposed to your beliefs. You can find books reprehensible in their message and morals. Does that make a book bad? Evil yes bad, I’m not sure.

There are examples throughout history of people finding a book academically wanting and of no importance and being horribly wrong. My classic example is Shakespeare’s plays, academics of his time dismissed his plays as useless and base. Same has applied to morality.

Reading is Good

There are a lot of arguments about whether or not the Harry Potter series, Twillight Series, or 50 Shades of Grey Series are good.

There’s one argument that people use to stop discussing their worth. “At least they have people reading.” As an Aspiring Author, this argument makes perfect sense financially for me. More people who read equal a larger possible audience. So consider me biased.

Let’s take 50 Shades of Grey, (sold over 90 million books).

Are there many people who picked up the series, people who have never read before? Possibly. I’d guess there aren’t as many as Harry Potter since it’s aimed at an older audience.

Are those people going to try and find more like this to read? Probably. Either because they were disappointed and wanted something else or because they liked it and want more.

Is a whole group of people looking for something else in the same style a bad thing? I don’t know. I haven’t read the books but from what my sources tell me there are some pretty wrong notions on gender equality and the nature of BDSM. I’m willing to bet that there are some great books in the same genre that would reinforce good ideas and that there will be more people who find them because of it though.

Is it bad for the publishing world? I don’t know and I don’t have an opinion on this.

How can something so crappy be so popular? You’ll hear all sorts of sexist comments on this subject. Try to not punch those who make them. (It’s not worth it.) Something was missing from society and publishing that people didn’t know they wanted until they had the chance.

Whether it was the fact that 50 Shades of Grey wasn’t hiding behind a curtain, or that it made people talk about sex and erotica, I don’t know. But I’m convinced that it wasn’t a fluke but an untapped market.

What’s your point Eric?

Wow you’re impatient today. It’s simple. In my opinion it’s better for people to be reading and getting passionate about books than to never read and not care.

Reading is a great way to relax, learn new words, discover new worlds, and learn more about yourself.

Reading is good. Telling people what to read is bad.

Eric’s Rule about Media

This is something you’ve been told your whole life and it’s simply this:

Consume all media critically!

I’m sure I didn’t come up with this idea. None the less, passively consuming anything is a bad idea. Question what you’re consuming and try to understand what makes you like or dislike something.

By understanding how something makes you feel and what it’s trying to say you are not only helping yourself but you’ll be able to give people a better idea why you like or dislike something.

One last thing

STOP attacking people about what they read!

STOP acting like your preferred literature is better!

And

Read!
(Blogs, books, magazines, social media, newspapers, etc)


The last Horcrux

February 5, 2014

The other day I came across this comic and it got me thinking.

Click to read the rest of this hilarious comic

Click to read the rest of this hilarious comic

Here’s the story of the last Horcrux:

In the last days before the battle of Hogwarts, Voldemort decided that he must survive. To this end he created a last Horcrux, one that no one could ever find. Unlike his others he used and ordinary grain of sand.

This last Horcrux was tossed into the deepest ocean. One its way into the deepest parts of the ocean a deep water fish mistook it for food and chased it down. It swallowed the grain of sand and proceeded to swim into a magical tear between worlds.

The tear led into a lake. Being a deep water fish, the poor fish was completely blinded by the light in this little lake. It was quickly caught by a fisherman, who gutted it and brought it home. The fish’s guts however were left on the beach to decompose.

There the grain staid for a few years until a jewelers apprentice came looking for sand to temper jewelry. The sand on this beach was perfect. He collected a large sack of sand including the grain which was a Horcrux.

The sand was brought to a land called Erigion and was to be used in the forging of magical rings by the Lord of Gifts himself Annatar.

With Annatar’s help the Elves of Erigion forged Seven rings for the Dwarf-Lords, and nine rings for the Mortal Men. The lord of Erigion, Celebrimbor, didn’t trust Annatar and under the guise of perfecting the art of ring forging he created another three while Annatar watched.

Annatar was actually an evil lord called Sauron who had hopes to dominate all of Middle-earth. His corrupting touch had infused the first seven and nine with a little of his own power but since he hadn’t touched the three they had been spared.

As Annatar, Sauron, watched the forging of the three elven rings of power, his senses pulled him towards the sand. As he probed the sand with his power he realised that some poor human wizard had bound a piece of his soul to a grain of sand.

At first this made the dark lord laugh but then it gave him an idea. Having completed teaching Celebrimbor and the Elvin smiths how to create magical rings he departed to Mordor, where he had made his home and empire.

Once there he forged another ring with the sand in the fires of Orodruin, later to be called Mount Doom. There in his secret forge, Sammath Naur, he used the sand one last time. He followed the example of the human wizard and split his soul into the ring, and giving it the ability to control the others.

The gold was soft and when it was placed in the sand to temper it, a grain of sand was forced deep into its core. Trapping the last remnants of Voldemort’s soul, inside the ring.

We all know what happened to that ring and how the last Horcrux was destroyed.

Late in the night, Gollum, Bilbo, and Frodo could sometimes hear the cries of Voldemort’s soul from the ring. It’s probably better we don’t know what horrors Sauron inflicted on him.


About Time Movie Review

October 24, 2013

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Trailer

I was offered two free tickets to an advanced showing of About Time. It officially comes out on November first. It is a Romantic Comedy with a twist. The main character can travel back in time.

To truly enjoy the movie, you have to keep in mind that it is a Romantic Comedy and not a time travel movie. I kept expecting his jumps back to have disastrous and unfixable repercussions. They never happened. Yes there were a few “Oh Crap” moments but the main character seems to have the ability to reset the timeline without any problems.

At its core this movie isn’t about time, it’s about family and love. It beautifully sidesteps any moral questions by having the main character be completely sweet and upstanding. He doesn’t use his power to make the perfect date or to learn everything about the girl in order to seduce her. He meets her and they fall for each other without any use of time travel.

The strength of the movie is in its characters. They are all unique, memorable, lovable, and sweet. From the quirky father, the flower child sister, the grouchy playwright, all the way to the nutty uncle; each character is wonderfully played and written.

The movie is sappy and a little heavy handed in the end but that doesn’t take away from its constant laughs and good time.

Is this the greatest movie ever made? Probably not but it was a lot of fun and easily one of my favourite movies of the year. Possible of all time.

If you liked Love Actually, Notting Hill, Four Weddings and a Funeral, or enjoy funny love stories… Go see it.

4.5/5


Summer Movie Rankins as of July 29th, 2009

July 29, 2009

After G-Force and The Ugly Truth here is my list:

1. Star Trek (9.5)
2. Up (9.5)
3. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (8)
4. The Ugly Truth (8)
5. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (7.5)
6. The Proposal (7)
7. X-Men Wolverine (6.5)
8. Trasformers: Revenge of the Fallen (6)
9. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (5)
10. G-Force (4)

Idea stolen from Howard Tayler of Schlock Mercenary.


A review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

July 22, 2009

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

The 15th of July My brother (Voldemort), his girlfriend (Death-eater), my wife (Gryffindor student), and I (Slytherin Student) donned our Harry Potter apparel and headed for the Cinema.

Short Version: If you liked the other movies and liked the books you will like it. If you are a crazed fan of the books you’ll have a few problems with the movie but still admit it’s one of the best.

*Warning Mild Spoilers*

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