The Ridiculous Adventures of Felix Felicis – Part Two

June 6, 2014

Start from the beginning!

To say that Felix was having a bad day was an understatement.

He’d gotten up that morning to go into work, finish a business meeting, and go home before anything silly happened. He hated his birthday, the first of April, all most as much as he hated prop comedy. This year was turning out to be particularly frustrating.

Sitting across from him was a professionally and symmetrical woman. His younger brother Dean, would have said she was “hot”. Felix preferred to think of her as surprisingly attractive. It was unfortunate that she was completely insane.

They were sitting in a dirty and disgusting fast food restaurant and she was trying to explain something but he wasn’t listening, he was too busy disinfecting their table.

Moments after she had shown him his apartment building in shattered pieces, presumably from a bomb of some sort, the police had arrived at his workplace. He was going to confront them about their audacity in accusing him of doing something so distasteful but Miss Eris had grabbed his arm and pulled him into the staircase.

“Those aren’t the real police,” she said smiling as if she was having the greatest time of her life.

“How can you possibly know that?” he had asked her trying to escape her iron grip. He wasn’t a strong man, more tall and lanky than anything, but her head barely reached his chest even though she wore ridiculously high heels. She shouldn’t be that strong.

“The patches on their shoulders say, ‘Poleece’” she replied calmly still smiling. When he looked into the small window of the stairway door he did, in fact, see that the officers had misspelled uniforms. Beyond Poleece, there was, Aweficer, and SeeTee of Otttawaa.

“That’s terrible,” he exclaimed.

“I know, they’re here to kill you,” she replied.

“No not that, the spelling. Someone should really correct them,” he moved towards the door and saw from the corner of his eye of the Aweficers pull out their firearm.

The rest of the morning was spent running around in a distasteful manner. When she had pulled him into a fast food restaurant he’d sneered but sat down. He was sweaty and now sitting in someone else dirt. If he’d had a home, he’d go there to shower.

“Have you heard a word of what I’m saying?”

“I’m sorry Miss Eris. You seem like a nice, if unhinged, person but I have no interest in what you have to say. I should head to the nearest police station and turn myself in. I have done nothing and they’ll realize that soon enough.”

Tilting her head and looking at him as if he was the one who was insane she said, “They blew up your apartment and sent goons out to kill you. Do you really thing they will let you get to the police, and if you do they’ll kill you in jail. No the only safe thing is for you to come home with me.”

“That’s preposterous. Why would I go home with a Madwoman?”

“Because if you don’t, they’ll kill you,” she said it with genuine worry in her voice.

“And who is this ‘They’ you keep talking about?”

Lifting the large colourful book with a lizard on the cover she replied, “Why the dinosaurs of course.”

Read Part 3

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Hal the Sun Speaker – Part 4

March 25, 2014

Hello Imaginary Friends,

My wife and I have bought a house and are in the middle of moving and setting things up.

Since I don’t want to neglect you any more than I have, I’ll be posting a multi-part story. It was recently rejected by an anthology but I plan on resubmitting it.

I really like this story. Let me know what you think.

Enjoy!

Start Reading at Part 1
sun-07

 

Read the rest of this entry »


Hal the Sun Speaker – Part 2

March 19, 2014

Hello Imaginary Friends,

My wife and I have bought a house and are in the middle of moving and setting things up.

Since I don’t want to neglect you any more than I have, I’ll be posting a multi-part story. It was recently rejected by an anthology but I plan on resubmitting it.

I really like this story. Let me know what you think.

Enjoy!

Start Reading at Part 1

PIA03149 Read the rest of this entry »


The last Horcrux

February 5, 2014

The other day I came across this comic and it got me thinking.

Click to read the rest of this hilarious comic

Click to read the rest of this hilarious comic

Here’s the story of the last Horcrux:

In the last days before the battle of Hogwarts, Voldemort decided that he must survive. To this end he created a last Horcrux, one that no one could ever find. Unlike his others he used and ordinary grain of sand.

This last Horcrux was tossed into the deepest ocean. One its way into the deepest parts of the ocean a deep water fish mistook it for food and chased it down. It swallowed the grain of sand and proceeded to swim into a magical tear between worlds.

The tear led into a lake. Being a deep water fish, the poor fish was completely blinded by the light in this little lake. It was quickly caught by a fisherman, who gutted it and brought it home. The fish’s guts however were left on the beach to decompose.

There the grain staid for a few years until a jewelers apprentice came looking for sand to temper jewelry. The sand on this beach was perfect. He collected a large sack of sand including the grain which was a Horcrux.

The sand was brought to a land called Erigion and was to be used in the forging of magical rings by the Lord of Gifts himself Annatar.

With Annatar’s help the Elves of Erigion forged Seven rings for the Dwarf-Lords, and nine rings for the Mortal Men. The lord of Erigion, Celebrimbor, didn’t trust Annatar and under the guise of perfecting the art of ring forging he created another three while Annatar watched.

Annatar was actually an evil lord called Sauron who had hopes to dominate all of Middle-earth. His corrupting touch had infused the first seven and nine with a little of his own power but since he hadn’t touched the three they had been spared.

As Annatar, Sauron, watched the forging of the three elven rings of power, his senses pulled him towards the sand. As he probed the sand with his power he realised that some poor human wizard had bound a piece of his soul to a grain of sand.

At first this made the dark lord laugh but then it gave him an idea. Having completed teaching Celebrimbor and the Elvin smiths how to create magical rings he departed to Mordor, where he had made his home and empire.

Once there he forged another ring with the sand in the fires of Orodruin, later to be called Mount Doom. There in his secret forge, Sammath Naur, he used the sand one last time. He followed the example of the human wizard and split his soul into the ring, and giving it the ability to control the others.

The gold was soft and when it was placed in the sand to temper it, a grain of sand was forced deep into its core. Trapping the last remnants of Voldemort’s soul, inside the ring.

We all know what happened to that ring and how the last Horcrux was destroyed.

Late in the night, Gollum, Bilbo, and Frodo could sometimes hear the cries of Voldemort’s soul from the ring. It’s probably better we don’t know what horrors Sauron inflicted on him.